Sunday, July 17, 2011

God Save me!

Today  friend suggested that I need a brain mapping so that it can be understand what exactly I keep on cooking in my mind. Well that sounds like a great idea. I don’t mind as they will be paying the fees :) I don’t know whats wrong with me. As the nights passes by & the moon climbs higher, I become quieter. You just can’t imagine how sad this butterfly feels even when she is sitting cozily on her bed, tucked into a quilt. Can you imagine what kind of situation forces a person to shed tears in lonely nights, sitting on the high pillar of hostel terrace.  It is always said that all the she-species are always complex to understand even for God himself. However I wonder if I top the list of complex persons! It’s my very nature that just like the temple bell, I keep resonating long after I have been struck by a problem. I wouldn’t feel even a bit if I would sneeze and found pieces of my brain on the handkerchief, cause I have been straining my brain so much lately.
Whenever I sit alone I hear a sound like a bird’s wings flapping in panic. Perhaps it was my heart, I don’t know. But if you have ever seen a trapped bird inside the great hall of a temple, looking for some way out, 1 god damn escape, that is how my mind is reacting. Is life nothing more than a storm that constantly washes away what had been there only a moment before, & leave behind something barren & unrecognizable?  I had never had such a thought before. To escape it I ran all around the house, but it kept haunting me. Even now the thoughts are sitting on my bed just beside me, claiming their king’s share, while I’m pushed to a corner. They are trying to squash me like a cockroach.

I see him every day on the street side, while I walk in the morning. He wore no shirt but only his loose fitting skin. The more I looked at him the more he began to seem like just a curious collection of shapes & texture. His arms  were stick wrapped in old leather, dangling from two bumps. I wonder who is having more complex life! Is it him or is it still me!